My First Time to the Zoo

Deyvn had her first outing to our local zoo on Saturday. It's small for zoo's but perfect for little time away from home. It does have a beautiful lion too!

For an 8mo old, she spent more time people watching than anything although the elephant was a surprise. Check out that expression!

She's like what is that!!

I haven't figured out my two dogs yet :)

She loved the giraffe. It came running towards us for food. I was actually a little scared~~it was at TOP speed!

We conclude the day with ice cream. YUM! Marble Slab. They sure know how to make your wallet groan.

But finally at home:

I do love my Sweet Potatoes and Chicken~~Thanks Beech Nut!
Awhhh, she's the love of my life!

New Goodies in my shop!

Finally! The long weekend allowed me some time to actually work on my designs. I love all the new ones. Perfect for all those summer parties, special occasions, weddings, showers, and my favorite, just because!

This is Bella. Isn't she a vintage beauty? The vintage enamel shabby cottage like pendant is awesome and I utilized a gorgeous light blue vintage crystal to set it off then I added ribbon as the tie so it will drape beautifully down your neck!

This lovely is Elizabeth. I love this salvaged beauty. So classic..reminds me of Audrey Hepburn. This came from a damaged necklace and I added vintage faux pearls in the most beautiful shade of gray which you can not find now a days.

These pretties are Ella. Vintage golden metal flower (close to 1 inch, or 30mm wide) with vintage ivory rose bead for center. Antiqued brass ear wire.

Close up of that beautiful vintage rhinestone button I used.

This pretty 18 inch necklace is made with dyed freshwater pearls, silvertone ring, and a gorgeous vintage rhinestone button. Simple yet elegant!

Okay, I wasn't have the best hair day for this picture :)

This is Alcott.

Fits 7.5inch wrist comfortably. Vintage pale pink czech glass beads, vintage crystal beads, vintage faux pearls simulated to look like freshwater pearls, a beautiful shade of ivory, and vintgage rhinestone beads. Stretch cording was utilized to keep the look clean.

Crystella :

This gorgeous necklace is made with opalite glass, vintage cyrstals salvaged from broken necklaces, silvertone ring, and beautiful velvet ribbon embellished with a sweet pink rose. The pictures do not do this gemstone justice.The necklace is 18 inches long and you could lengthen another 5 inches or so based on how tight you do the ribbon. I love the look of the gorgeous ribbon tie to drape down the neck or to the side to add that little extra.

Absolutely stunning!

All these beauties would be perfect for a special occasion, party, wedding, shower, or my favorite, just because. It would look beautiful on a bride or bridesmaid!

Saying Goodbye to a fulfilled journey

when it was a heartbreaking experience can be hard. I say goodbye to a group of beautiful women who helped me endure 3 of my 5 years of infertility. I've never met any of them but with the technology of today, I was able to get through the hardest journey of my life. I made the decision not to renew my membership. It was time to move on. Time to put the past behind me and relish in my appreciation for my beautiful little one. The absolute love of my life (sorry, DH, my honey of my life). The trials and tribulations of infertility is great, it does not effect just me but your significant other, and eventually the rest of your family. I consider myself lucky compared to some women whose journey still has not ended or the conclusion was not what one wanted but must accept.

Infertility brought me patience, acceptance, understanding, and perservance. You MUST be your own advocate in your goal of motherhood. I read, and searched, and queried those with greater knowledge or alternative knowledge. I pushed my doctor to find the answer. In the end, there was NO answer. It was inconclusive or by industry term UNEXPLAINED. Who comes up with these terms? Unexplained... You don't tell two people who desire in their hearts a baby..Medically there is no reason. UMMM, yes there is. You need to find it.

Money is the biggest issue for us infertiles. Insurance does not cover testing, procedures, and drugs. Those who do live in mandatory states in the US, consider yourself VERY lucky.

DH & I are part of the lucky statistic of IVF working the first time. Although, it was very calculated on my part. I spent 2 (yes, 2) years having weekly acupuncture, eating a strict diet, and trying various herbs to bring my body BALANCE. Acupuncture healed me and I believe is the reason why the IVF worked. I was stressed out, impatient, and depressed. Infertility will do this to you. I was mentally exhausted or a better term, consumed with achieving motherhood. Unless you've been there, it is a difficult thing to understand.

My pocketbook groans each month and will for many many years to come. I don't regret the choice I made as statistically it was a gamble, due to my age and history of insulin resistance. 50/50 ....those aren't good odds at $20,000 a pop. My specialist and team are considered one of the leading teams in the US in regards to research and success.

Derek said 'let's do it' but he is a gambler at heart. If this didn't work, we would be a family of two the rest of our lives. I cried many a night because it was ultimately my decision. I was soooooo tired of tests, shots, poking, prying, surgeries.

Those that don't know~~ it's just not a few shots. It's pills first, then blood sample, then 2 different kinds of shots 2x a day~most of the time it is for 10 days, with every other day blood draws. This leads you to retrieval..more pills. Then the whomper shots start and because it worked it was 14 weeks of this shot in the bum. Derek is my nurse and I love him more because he would stumble sleepy to my bum and poke :)
3 days later I receive a call of how many survived and were viable, then transfer. On my back for 24hrs. Then time stands still for 12 days till you go in for the LAST blood draw. Tick, tock, tick tock till you receive that call ~~yes or no~~. Will my heart break or be fulfilled?

As I lay my inferility to rest along with any further attempts to enlarge my family, my heart feels sad. My system is winding down. I can feel it but it's part of life. I must let go. Enjoy my family as it is. I am BLESSED. God did hear me but required me to struggle, endure, accept, and be a part of a special group of people that must bring understanding to the world regarding the pain infertility brings. Not all people will understand using medical technology to attain conception, and that's okay. Life provides choices and this was ours.

Goodbye infertility, the journey was hard and my body has the scars to prove it. Years of reminders lay ahead as not all those scars will heal very quickly.

A poem for those who endured infertility:

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

How does one little girl

NOT sleep? Dr Spock, Sears, and all the others~~your methods may work on some but my little one has a mind of her own. She will sleep through the night when SHE is ready! Part of the problem is that she has constant colds, ear infection, and reflux for the past 6 months so at 7 1/2 months old, sleeping is all new to her.

Many a Mom has told me that she will sleep eventually when she tires her self out. Do you realize how much they have to go through to grow up? It's amazing to watch her learn new skills. She is working hard on crawling but has bypassed and is working on pulling herself up. She is determined to walk. Her dad and I were both early walkers so time will tell.

Off to get more coffee. Thank goodness for Dunkin Donuts and their coffee!

The Deck

Just a few pics of my flowers on my deck. My dad made me the gorgeous cedar flower chest, it's perfect next to my back door which leads in the breakfast nook and kitchen. I'm growing lavender, sage, and coleus this year. It's just starting. Mom has numerous herb plants which she will share once they are big enough. Ohhh, I can't wait!

Check out the fun zebra pot I got at a local flower place :)

The Garden

I have to share my front yard. After 8 years of living in a cookie cutter house (first time homeowners) I feel my gardens are finally coming to life! I never grew a garden before and the knowledge I did have was from growing up in New York. We don't have dirt here in South Carolina, it's red clay. It's taken almost 8 years of mulching to get some 'good' growing soil! I wish I had gotten a picture of my southern version of a lilac because it was the first year I had buds after 6 painful years :(

I haven't gotten to our back down by the fence mainly cause it's huge and the dogs have a track back there from running back and forth. We have a horse farm backing up to us. It's nice to have them come visit for an apple or carrot. Drives the dogs batty!

Today is the beginning

of my new blog! I was inspired by the Artful Blogging magazine. It had so many interesting people and ideas. I'm a little challenged to the technology but here it goes :)